Hustle, Me Must

Twas a few weeks before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (especially not a mouse). The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but for one, which needed to be knitted.



So maybe I should get to knitting while my creatures aren't stirring, eh?

Continued ...

Necrosis

Well, uh, we seem to have resolved our mouse problem. As the mouse crawled into Noah's Ark and died.

The Ark which will my husband will be throwing away tonight.

No Shit.

That there is the mouse, dead, next to the Ark.

I have to say, as an atheist, I am amused that the mouse died in Noah's Ark. As a mom, I am sad since it was a fun toy and now we have to throw it away. And, as a softie, I am a wee bit depressed at the thought of the mouse crawling in the ark with the mini animals thinking he had found kindred souls, only to end up D.E.A.D. dead. I want to yell at him and say, "See, you shouldn't have come to our house! Duh!"

There is a lot more to the story, such as my husband suggesting we throw away the ark (see, us = atheists) mere hours before the mouse was discovered and me saying no because I liked it; me, the wussiest of wusses, then finding the fucking thing dead in the ark, screaming, throwing the ark across the room thus sending the mouse carcass airborne; LB, seeing me freak the hell out, and mimicking me; and, me, calling my husband on his way to work, telling him I could deal with eleven mistresses better than I could with a dead mouse. I'm gonna skip the details though because really, the details can't top the fact that the mouse died in my kid's Noah's Ark toy.

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Duuuuuddddeeee

I know I don't have to post today being that NaBloPoMo is done and over. That is, of course, why I actually have something funny to post about. You see today, the kids were napping and I was in need of a little sweet, a little something something, and the next thing you know, I had accidentally gotten high. I KNOW. It was crazy. We had a can of ReddiWip. I decided I wanted some of that whipped goodness. I also decided to indulge in my white trashness (and avoid extra dishes - lame), and so I shot that whipped goodness directly into my mouth. And somehow I inadvertently think I did a whip it because I had a mouth full of sweet and a head full of, um, light headedness. Yes, while my kids were napping I was getting high (albeit unintentionally). Am I a model of awesome parenting or what?

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NaBloPoMo, 30

Whew! I made it. Thirty posts in thirty days. Well, thirty-one posts actually. I'm an over-achiever. Some of my posts have been less than stellar, more than some. The majority. Luckily NaBloPoMo is one of the few things in which it is all about quantity and now quality. But still, I did it. Go me. And now, for my final NaBloPoMo post, I shall continue with the shoddy quality.

Tonight we gave TD her first full on bath (as opposed to a sponge bath). She handled it pretty well with only minimal fussing. Once she was clean, we sniffed the hell out of her since the new baby smell was back. In addition to smelling her, we also rubbed her head because her hair is soft. How soft? "Damn! Feel her head. It's like cotton. Or dandelion fuzz." "I KNOW. It's just so soft. I want to cut it off and make underwear out of it." "?"

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NaBloPoMo, 29

I wasn't kidding about my slow knitting, brain farting, mojo.


Two nights worth of work. Here's hoping I can do a little better tonight!

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